Walt and the Warners

BY Alvin Kumar

Cartoons. We all watched them. We all loved them. Some of us still do. (Oh that Spongebob, will he ever cease his wacky antics in those adorable square pants of his?) They helped create the people we are today – but what of the people who created them? Allow me to introduce two purveyors of the colourful little moving drawings some of us like to watch: Disney and Warner Bros.

Both companies are responsible for many things apart from cartoons. However, it’s the cartoons these companies used to make, and make well (and will never make again in the case of Disney, which shut down its traditional cel-based animation studios a couple of years ago), which exemplify their differences. Mickey Mouse is a nice boy. He is clean (well, as clean as a plague-carrying rodent can be), dresses well, no tattoos or body piercings, lives in a lovely suburban house, takes good care of his dog, and has an adorably chaste relationship with his girlfriend Minnie. Essentially he’s living the American dream. Mickey’s films/shorts/cartoons are good-natured: slapstick humour; the wacky antics of children (Huey, Dewey and Louie); and the heart-warming wholesomeness that comes with gentle laughter. Even if Mickey is not involved, Disney films are generally classical fairytales where cute and cuddly good triumphs over mean and icky darkness, or in the case of the new Herbie film, Lindsay Lohan’s breasts.

Compare this to Warner Bros. Its main character is the wisecracking, carrot chewing, Brooklyn-accented Bugs Bunny, who in a startling coincidence is from the same part of New York as Jon Bon Jovi. And rather than sharing quality time with his wacky extended family, Bugs’s films (and those of Warner Bros cartoons in general), involve cruel and elaborately violent ways of hurting people, usually with minimal provocation, and if possible, with the opportunity to put on women’s clothes. It is mean-spirited comedy based on bullying and pain. Oh how we laughed.

So do you like the family-friendly fun of a mouse wearing red pants, the sputtering tantrums of a duck in a sailor suit, the goofy stumblings of a dog thus named? Or would an apparently masochistic coyote being forever denied his sustenance, or an incompetent hunter shooting at a rabbit, while being antagonised by an insane duck, do it for you? Your answer to the above questions say a lot about the person you are. Th Th Th Th That’s all folks.

Who Would Win A Fight?

Mickey vs Bugs

Mickey is an older, more seasoned competitor. He is better trained than Bugs, has superior skills and is backed by the might of Walt Disney’s frozen head. Yet Mickey’s main strength is his major weakness. Mickey is a virtuous middle-class mouse, while Bugs is a vicious, cruel, morally ambiguous brawler born and raised on the mean streets. Bugs might be outclassed and outmuscled, but he would lie, cheat, steal, and if possible dress like a woman in order to steal the victory that was Mickey’s by rights.

Verdict: Bugs

Donald vs Daffy

Two ducks face each other in the squared circle this time. Daffy’s style is similar to Bugs, only this time tinged with incompetence, insanity and megalomania. Donald would be no match for Daffy’s cunning. However, he is a military duck (hence the sailor suit), and is also a fount of bottomless rage (hence the temper tantrums). In a combat situation, boot camp training would kick in, and when Daffy makes an inappropriate comment about Huey, Dewey or Louie, the red mist would descend and when it cleared you would find bruised and bloody Daffy lying at Donald’s feet. Don’t fuck with the navy.

Verdict: Donald

Mickey & Donald vs Bugs & Daffy

In tag-team competition, team cohesion is paramount. Mickey and Donald have a rapport born of decades of friendship, trust, and wacky antics, whereas Bugs and Daffy share decades of mistrust, backstabbing and outright hostility. In the field of battle between teams of fictional animated rodents and waterfowl, this lack of team unity will cost Bugs and Daffy dearly.

Verdict: Mickey & Donald

Disney vs Warner Bros Fact File

THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY

Today, the small animation studio founded by Walt and brother Roy Disney has an annual turnover of more than US$30.2 billion.

Its assets include five resorts, 11 theme parks, two water parks, 39 hotels, eight movie studios, six record labels, 12 television networks and two Florida municipalities whose ‘citizens’ are all company employees.

Walt was a member of the American Nazi Party. He was recruited as an FBI informant in 1940, and in 1947 testified before Congress that a union member was a communist during a bitter animator’s strike.

The US National Labor Committee has accused the company of human rights violations in its treatment of workers in Chinese and Bangladeshi ‘sweatshop’ factories.

One of the animatronic pirates in Disneyland’s 1967 Pirates of the Caribbean ride has Walt Disney’s face; cast from a life mould used to make the statue of Disney that adorns the central square.

Disney was cremated, not cryogenically frozen.

“The whole Walt Disney philosophy eats out of your hand with these pretty little sentimental creatures in grey fur coats. … I believe that behind these smiling eyes there lurks a cold, ferocious beast fearfully stalking us.” Jean Baudrillard

WARNER BROS ENTERTAINMENT

Founded in 1918 by Harry, Albert, Sam and Jack Warner, the film studio that released landmark ‘talkie’ The Jazz Singer expanded into animation in 1930 after poaching ex-Disney animators Hugh Harman, Rudolf Ising, Jack King and Friz Freleng.

In 1956 Jack executed a secret takeover deal cutting out Harry and Albert (Sam died in 1927). The Warners were estranged ever after. Sam died in 1978.

Warner Bros is now a subsidiary of the Time Warner conglomerate, which has an annual revenue of US$42.1 billion. Warner Bros owns film studios, TV networks, production companies, DC Comics, and Hanna-Barbera Cartoons.

Current CEO Barry M Meyer advises the entertainment industry on production, labour and regulatory issues and is involved in charitable and civic activities including serving on the board of Human Rights Watch.